These folks were crazy enough to volunteer to participate
in our Hitchening. Or perhaps tricked by the promise of free beer.
Let's put our hands together for the Bridal Brigade!

Name: Adam Bunner
Title(s): Brigadier
Food he could eat for weeks and not get tired of it: I could eat the hopes and dreams of innocent children every day for weeks and weeks without getting tired of it. At least, this is what Fox News has told me about people who feel the way I do about politics. So sure, it may just be the liberal in me talking, but just that pure juicy exhilaration as everything kids have been taught to expect about life's bounty falls into empty ashes before their feet really supplies me with a taste sensation! Oh...and pickles. Definitely fat, juicy dill pickles.
Body parts removed: An alien fetus. Don't ask, and I won't tell.
Knocked unconscious: I've only been hit once in my life, on the top of my head. I was in a car accident once too, but neither incident led to unconsciousness.
If he could change his name, it would be: Ted, Theodore Logan
Favorite sound or noise: The click of a playing card or credit card (or any kind of card) as it slaps down on a table.
Pairs of flip flops currently owned: None at all.
Favorite time of year: 7'o clock
Best advice for Kerri and Michael: Adopt. Save the world from Mikey's children, please. For real though...treat one another with kindness always and forever, no matter the tide of events that
slate themselves against you. Everywhere you turn there is anger and animosity, misunderstanding
and fears. My only recommendation would be to become a place for one another to be safe from all of that.

Name: Annie Carveth
Title(s): Brigadette, Duchess of Debauchery
Food she could eat for weeks and not get tired of it: I could eat sushi for weeks and not get tired of it, specifically the spicy tuna roll or the cucumber avocado roll. Delicious!
Body parts removed: I have not had any body parts removed yet... There is talk of removing part or all of my crushed L1 vertebrae, but I've still got all of my bits and pieces right now.
Knocked unconscious: I was knocked unconscious very briefly at roller derby practice when I fell (purposefully) and my teammate kicked me in the head with her skate (accidentally).
If she could change her name, it would be: If I could change my name, I would change it to Annabelle. Three syllables is more exciting than one! Some people already make use of that moniker, so I believe that the transition would be fairly easy.
Favorite sound or noise: My favorite sound is that of a baseball getting smacked with an aluminum bat. I've never played baseball, nor am I particularly interested in the sport, but that is such a satisflying sound.
Pairs of flip flops currently owned: I currently own five pairs of flip flops, with the intention of getting a few more before the summer is over. I love flip flops, and they are so cheap!
Favorite time of year: My favorite time of year is the summertime. I love everything about it! I feel like the rest of the year revolves around those few blissful months of heat, thunderstorms, fireflies, barbecues, camping trips, etc, and I can never wait for it to come back around.
Best advice for Kerri and Michael: Be your own couple and figure out what works for you. You are both amazing individuals and together you make a wonderfully unique couple. Laugh with each other, listen to each other, be kind to each other, and discover happiness in the things that make you uniquely suited to a life together.
Love you guys!


Name: Rachel Ciullo
Title(s): Brigadette, Contessa d'Impertinenza
Food she could eat for weeks and not get tired of it: Florentine Crepes from the Original Pancake House. They have spinach, cheddar, onion, and hollandaise on top, but I always get the hollandaise on the side so I can dip. It’s the most perfect meal because you’ll never feel gross and stuffed from it and you can have it anytime of day.
Body parts removed: I can’t think of anything removed, but I did have a flap cut out of my corneas during my Lasik surgery. They gave me a video of the surgery and it looked like a grape being peeled. Lovely.
Knocked unconscious: I wasn’t knocked out, but I definitely have the best passed out story. My husband Bob (fiancé and the time) and I went to Peter Luger’s in Brooklyn for my birthday dinner in 2006. I hadn’t eaten all day because I wanted to save all my appetite for the delicious steak (sorry Kerri!). When we got to the restaurant we saw Bill Murray at the bar, but like all New Yorkers we played it cool and pretended not to notice him. He was seated, and shortly after we were seated in the same room. Actually our table was right next to Michael J. Fox and his family who was just finishing up, totally random but also super neat.
So anyway, back to blackout story. Our steak came and I took a bite. All the sudden I wasn’t feeling well. Everything started to go dim and I couldn’t hear as clearly. I started taking water from my glass and putting it on my face. Then I decided to do that in the bathroom. I told Bob I’d be right back, and got up. That’s the last thing I remember. I woke up and Bill Murray was nestling me on the floor of Peter Luger’s asking me if I was ok and trying to feed me the creamed spinach from his spoon. In my stupor I said “No, I don’t want the creamed spinach, I want the schlag.” Bill Murray stood up arms outstretched and exclaimed “SOMEBODY GET THE LADY SOME SCHLAG!” Patrons starting handing Bill their dessert and he fed me schlag on the floor of Peter Luger’s.
Later the EMT came, they asked me what happened. I said I fell down and Alex P. Keaton and Bill Murray were there. They looked at me like I was nuts and asked Bob how hard I’d hit my head. Turns out my blood sugar was very low since I hadn’t eaten and the steak shot it up too quickly causing me to pass out. They asked if I wanted to go to the hospital, but come on, I wanted my steak! So we finished our meal and on the way out Bill Murray asked me how his patient was. We chatted for a bit and he called my mom on my cell phone and asked her if I was breastfed
with schlag.
If she could change her name, it would be: No idea — you pick one!
Favorite sound or noise: I love all my dogs, but my little one, Peggy Sue makes the cutest little ‘Peg sounds’. Sometimes I just marvel at how adorable she is. Until she’s destroying something to remind me what a monster really she is.
Pairs of flip flops currently owned: To actually do this properly I’d have to look in my closet, but since I don’t feel like getting up I’ll estimate. At least 3-4 croc flops (pink, grey, green, and I’m sure I have another pair I can’t think of). Fit flops (and knock offs) 2 black pairs, 1 black sparkly, 1 silver sparkly, 1 brown. Tons of random flip flops.
Favorite time of year: Fall. I love the smell of burning leaves and apple cider.
Best advice for Kerri and Michael: Never go to bed angry. Don’t fight over a chore you can pay someone to do. You have no idea how happy my lawn service makes me.


Name: Russ Crookston
Title(s): Brigadier
Food he could eat for weeks and not get tired of it: Sushi and Sweedish Fish
Body parts removed: surgically? nope. never.
Knocked unconscious: Nope. My older brother made up for me there. I think he's been knocked out 4 or 5 times in the past 15 years.
If he could change his name, it would be: Gob Bluth.
Favorite sound or noise: Every single one of them!
Pairs of flip flops currently owned: None. They make that really annoying sou--....oh....wait....that would kinda contradicts my previous answer. This is really HARD!
Favorite time of year: Spring and Autumn are neck & neck.
Best advice for Kerri and Michael: Be excellent to each other!



Name: Dr. Kyle Draheim
Title(s): Brigadette, Doc Awesome
Food she could eat for weeks and not get tired of it: Kraft Macaroni & Cheese. I know that it isn't "real" macaroni and cheese, but I love it anyways!!!
Body parts removed: Yes, a few different moles and a broken ACL. Nothing exciting like a kidney or a tail.
Knocked unconscious: Chemically-yes. Physically- kind of. I blacked out when I was attacked in Barcelona, but the person I was with said I never lost consciousness.
If she could change her name, it would be: Something that wasn't a boys name, I like Kayla
and Madison.
Favorite sound or noise: the ones made by my pugs :-)
Pairs of flip flops currently owned: 2
Favorite time of year: Autumn
Best advice for Kerri and Michael: Never lie. Secrets are okay as long as it doesn't involve lies. Additionally, you are better off buying sex toys in a store rather than the internet. It's hard to judge quality on-line.


Name: The Rev. Suzanne Hodsden
Title(s): Brigadette, Empress of Snark
Food she could eat for weeks and not get tired of it: I require variety in life. Which might explain my geographic commitment problems? I do have a tendency to switch allegiances. Right now I bow deeply and humbly in the service of Chinese noodles, miller light and whipped cream.
Body parts removed: There was the great adnoid/tonsil heist of 1993. I miss them. They told me they’d write.
Knocked unconscious: Knocked? By someone other than myself? No. I do, however, reboot from time to time. It’s all very Victorian
If she could change her name, it would be: Empress Zannahsue of Akron; Wench supreme of global trotting; train jumping; and auspicious scribe of reigning truth, love and monkeyshine. Oh, and I would be announced publicly every time I made an appearance by small men with trumpets.
Favorite sound or noise: Loud, deep, inappropriate belly laughs.
Pairs of flip flops currently owned: 5; seriously, what’s with the shoe census? Do you need to know their races? If so, I have Native American, African American, East Asian, Polynesian, and one pair of Caucasian. I don’t know if it’s apropos to admit that the Caucasian pair is evil, power hungry, and has a tendency to try to rip off my little toe. Inspite of all of this, they make the rest of my shoes feel slightly inferior for no good frackin’ reason. Maybe because they have sparklies?
Favorite time of year: Fall: the clothes are cuter, the colors are prettier, and I don’t sweat
so damn much.
Best advice for Kerri and Michael: Happiness and cooperation is a choice you make every single day. Also: Dutch ovens, wet willies, and full nelsons are cruel and unnecessary. Use sparingly.


Name: Darrik Mazey
Title(s): Brigadier
Food he could eat for weeks and not get tired of it: Pasta!
Body parts removed: Nope.
Knocked unconscious: Nope.
If he could change his name, it would be: Plastic Emerson Stillpicture Jesus.
Favorite sound or noise: Wind gently agitating the dried leaves of autumn.
Pairs of flip flops currently owned: 0. And if it were possible, I'd own even less.
Favorite time of year: October.
Best advice for Kerri and Michael: Laugh at inappropriate times. If laughter becomes your instinctual reaction to inevitable irritation, every moment is enjoyable.


Name: Scott Miller
Title(s): Brigadier
Food he could eat for weeks and not get tired of it: coffee and cigarettes.
Body parts removed: nope. only added things.
Knocked unconscious: not since I quit the UFC.
If he could change his name, it would be: a different name.
Favorite sound or noise: both.
Pairs of flip flops currently owned: zero.
Favorite time of year: which year?
Best advice for Kerri and Michael: Who?


Name: Melanie Shephard
Title(s): Brigadette, Sultana of Sass
Food she could eat for weeks and not get tired of it: Tortellini with pesto sauce.
Body parts removed: Not that I'm aware, but I am a very sound sleeper...
Knocked unconscious: No.
If she could change her name, it would be: I honestly don't know, I love my name. Can I just go by my first name like Madonna or Cher instead?
Favorite sound or noise: A deep, gravelly male voice singing, for example the voice of Gary Allan.
Pairs of flip flops currently owned: One.
Favorite time of year: Summer.
Best advice for Kerri and Michael: I'm not the best person to give advice but I'd say not to sweat the small stuff because it sounds like decent advice to me.


Name: Sherri Tumosa
Title(s): Brigadette, Mistress Mischievous
Food she could eat for weeks and not get tired of it: gardenburgers.
Body parts removed: Wisdom teeth.
Knocked unconscious: Nope... but I had the wind knocked out of me by a 9 year old.
If she could change her name, it would be: I LOVE my name because it's not super common. When I was younger I wanted to change it to Jennifer, Jessica, or Michelle but that was before I realized how cool my name is :)
Favorite sound or noise: The waves crashing on the surf . I also love the sound of torrential rain :)
Pairs of flip flops currently owned: 5 pairs.
Favorite time of year: Summer and fall
Best advice for Kerri and Michael: I would say to be honest with each other all of the time. If somethings not working fix it before it becomes a bigger problem. Also, pick your battles wisely. Its stupid to argue over which way the toilet paper goes on the dispenser...and blah blah blah. Just love each other and enjoy each other :)