Michael and I have been together for eight wonderful years.
We've shared our financial and household responsibilities for
five of those years. Many of you have asked over the course
of that time: "When are you going to make it 'official'?"

To my heart and mind, there is nothing 'unofficial' about our commitment
to one another. However, we have put a lot of thought into our decision to legally wed. I have always been skeptical about the politics surrounding weddings and the institution of marriage. I strongly believe that the state has no business authorizing heterosexual civil partnerships while denying rights to same-sex couples. Any religious institution, independent of the state, certainly has the right to define their own blessings and sacraments, but applying religious regulations to civil matters is an extremely suspicious activity. Also, as I believe in gender egalitarianism, it bothers me that women, in particular, are supposed to see our marriages, and thus our wedding days, as the singular greatest achievements of our lives—except, perhaps for becoming mothers. Add in drive-thru wedding chapels, high divorce rates, and other tomfoolery, and The Institution of Marriage™ starts looking a bit devalued. I can't quote Michael directly, but we share very similar views on this topic. Thus, for a long time, we weren't sure that we wanted to participate in a tradition that, at first glance, doesn't seem to align with our personal values.

As we've thought on it, and discussed it over time, we've come to a conclusion: our marriage choice shouldn't be defined by The Institution™. We want to celebrate and share our commitment with our loved ones, and doing so does not make us implicit in the prejudices and definitions of others. Our decision is just that: OUR decision. It's about what we intend and what we believe.

We intend to build our lives as partners, together. We believe that the relationships we create among family, friends, and lovers are some of the greatest achievements in our lives—all of our lives, men and women. While we must pursue our individual dreams and use our own talents to the best of our abilities, we need deep, mutually caring relationships with others to live fulfilling lives. Weddings are not about the marital relationship alone. They are usually public, communal celebrations because they exist to celebrate the family and community of the couple—not just the couple themselves. Our wedding will be an amazing day because we'll get to celebrate our love for one another, but also because we'll get to celebrate the relationships we have with so many other people, the closeness and love that surrounds us on all sides.

Thus, above all, we want to thank YOU. Thank you for supporting us, as individuals and as a couple. Thank you for taking time out of your busy lives to share a moment with us, and to celebrate the bonds of family and friendship that we all share. While you may agree or disagree with how we got here, it means a lot to have you with us at our celebration. We hope you will enjoy this occasion just as much as we will.

—Kerri